Life

When I think about life, I feel like childhood was merely a blip. Adolescence, probably because of its proximity, seems lengthier. (Adolescence, they say, is from 12-21 for females and 14-25 for males, fyi.) But adulthood, already, seems to move like a new sea turtle into the ocean – a slow and amazing and risky! journey into a vast unknown, in the dark – oy! And then what happens??

When people I haven’t talked to in a while ask what I’ve been up to, my common response is, “Oh, you know, figuring out life.” But the truth that I am discovering, moment by moment, is that no one ever figures life out – life with its constant surprises and disasters and sameness always has the upper hand. I’ve spent some time observing people older than me lately – parents of young adults, retirees, the elderly. I’ve found that, yes, on the surface, some stereotypical milestones are met, some wisdom is gained, some new struggles are faced, but largely there are similar events and issues that pervade their lives, as mine. Loss or gain or want of love, embarking on new prospects, self-discovery or consciousness saturate each day.

Once parenting is complete, life and what to do about it becomes the constant theme, as it is in one’s twenties. Once a career is finished, leisure and/or a new career are the to-do, as they are in one’s twenties. Once age sets in, daily exercises, living on a budget, and cherishing time with loved ones become life’s focus, as they are in one’s twenties. Hmm, so what is life about again?? Is there progress?

Do we learn how to handle life’s struggles better – mid-life and post-mid-life crises are strikingly comparable to the acts of stupidity and roaming-ness of youth. Do we gain wisdom, really – I spent time with an older woman recently who in one breath shared stories of life that should bring wisdom, and in another bore ignorance with greatness of stubbornness. Do we learn to love better – are second and third marriages more successful than firsts, do we ever learn to hold our tongues and our anger as we should, do we ever realize the importance of loved ones in our lives?

So what is life about? Obviously, there is no answer to this. At least not one that fits everyone, but I think that life produces its own purpose, for moments at a time. Life takes us where it will, many times despite our own wills. And what we do with it, how we react to it, is what strengthens our character and keeps us going. I can only say this about my own life, I hope never to say that at least I didn’t try. If life is going to tease me with opportunities, ok, I will say yes. I suppose this means that when opportunity is taken away or turns out poorly, I will have to cope with those results and, gulp, feelings – but again with that whole character building thing.

Questions and people and events, mistakes and decisions and enlightenment radiate, reverberate, recycle. And somehow the combination makes us belong in this wide world. Experience. Life.

“But as years went on he became either less self-conscious or more self-satisfied. The world, he found, made a niche for him as it did for everyone.” – E.M. Forster