Shine

If you only ever spent five minutes with me, then you know that I think too much. But I must say, I’ve been doing pretty well at quelling that tendency toward that too-much-thought-thing lately. Well, let me rephrase that. I’ve been thinking a lot, but I linger less. I linger a lot less. Perhaps it is because my time is limited, so thinking too much about any one subject is highly impractical. And if there is one other thing that you should know about me it is that I am practical. I mean, I wander, I make decisions on whims, I believe in experiences, but I am certainly practical most of all.

I’m rambling. What is my point? I have been thinking. As a graduate student, as an intern, as a person who is looking forward (only a little), I am thinking about my future. I am thinking about how the choices I make today might affect my future. I am thinking about what I want from my future. I am thinking about how I can make the most of this moment and parlay that moment into a future. I am thinking about how I can shine.

My fellow students and interns seem to have that whole shine thing down, at least in that polished, presentable sort of way. They have all done some really cool things. They purport to have career goals and ambitions and plans. They seem to know what they are doing. And some of them are so young! How do you shine among others who shine so brilliantly, and in such bright colors? (I have learned at this point though that appearances, above all, are deceiving.)

As I look around me at a wider scope, though, I find people who really do shine – people who are successful and charming and captivating and bright. People who exude confidence but present it without superiority. How does one achieve humility with such confidence? I must admit, unpretentious confidence intimidates the hell out of me. But it is certainly something I would hope to achieve in my life. To simply be sure of oneself without arrogance is an accomplishment worth aspiring to.

I would say that to this stage in my life I have fallen short of shining. I sometimes feel as if the image I present is reflected from an antique mirror with the original glass in tact. The image may be murky and distorted, but there is genuineness to it. The glass needs replacing, that is true. This is the task at hand. This is the moment to work on those repairs and polish as necessary. And then, shine. Surely.




“Feeling like a star, you can’t stop my shine……” Yep, I just quoted a cheesy, pop-py hip hop song. I don’t know what that’s about.