So, I'm in the process of growing. Growing in what direction, I don't know. I know I'm supposed to be growing upward, but sometimes I think I'm growing sideways or inwards, or even backwards at times. But throughout this process, there are these moments. Moments of clarity, of tearful blurriness, of utter confusion that are teaching me to stop worrying about what I'm "supposed" to be doing or being. See, I believe that everything happens for a reason. And I have this way of sticking in a moment until it makes some sort of sense or at least until another moment comes to push me out of that old one. And while I'm jammed in this moment, I like to try to verbalize it...I mean, usually not vocally. Some people use music or art or talking to move along and express themselves, but none of those things work for me, so I write - not poetry or novels or anything creative, just my thoughts, my moments.
My moments aren't profound or intense, mainly just descriptive. But I think it gives me perspective, sometimes catharsis, and always something. So as I find this perspective, I'm learning not to let things dictate who I am, I'm allowing myself to dream (sometimes), I'm becoming who I will be. Mainly, my moments are beginning to malleable-y define me and give me a new view of this world.
Well, welcome to the world of Internet catharsis! I have been enjoying your e-mails, but I just haven't had time to reply. (I'm going to get a T-shirt that says, "Survived Two QA Audits in a Year"--one at the old job, one at the new one.)
ReplyDeleteI have a rather neglected blog, that sits out there, like a friend of many years, whom you don't see as often as you should. It is appalachianirishman.blogspot.com. Our former colleague, Norm, has a blog also: anormlife.blogspot.com.
By the way, on the "everything happens for a reason" line, just remember the universal maxim: Bovine excrement happens! Call me cynical, but sometimes stuff just happens, with no rhyme or reason. What say you?