Southern "Pride"

When people find out I’m from the South, usually their first reaction is, “Really? You don’t have an accent.” Sometime after that, a few days or weeks, when they feel comfortable asking that question they’d been wondering, a lot of people ask, “What’s it like? Being from the South?” It’s as if I’m from a foreign country where intense natives cling to a dishonorable past by flying flags from a defeated despot or that I’ve been to some new planet where people speak slowly and open doors for each other. Ok, maybe it is a little like that.

But, when you’re asked, “Do you guys really like to fry everything? Do you really eat fried macaroni and cheese,” it’s hard to answer. I’ve tried fried mac n’ cheese, once, at Arby’s, in Albuquerque, and I thought it was a little weird. I do know several people who prefer their turkey fried on Thanksgiving Day, though. And I do like a good funnel cake and corn dog at a county fair.

When people comment on how nice Southern people are, I can only think of the art of backhanded compliments – one my mother has perfected. The way that woman can say, with a smile, “Oh, is your bad knee bothering you lately, is that why you haven’t been working out? Poor, dear,” and leave someone wondering if she was being caring or insulting is amazing, really.

But what is it like, being from the South? Being up north, having been out west and abroad, I can say it is different. I think that being from the South is a bit like being a woman. It’s generally acknowledged that there are differences between men and women; and the differences are sometimes viewed as strengths and sometimes weaknesses. Some people may still even hold that women are the “weaker” sex, but that is more often argued, rightfully, with a myriad of better debates – gender roles and biology and culture. Either way, as a woman, you generally have to prove yourself just a little bit more than men do – you have to be a little bit better and a little bit stronger. Whether you chose the Steel Magnolia or Erin Brockovich or GI Jane route, you have to find your strengths, what drives you, and go with it.

We talk slow, sure. But they teach public speakers to talk slower and louder – I think a lot of Southerners do loud pretty well too, albeit loud and hick is obnoxious and not so much effective. And we are polite and our mothers teach us manners. But etiquette can get you far in diplomacy, especially when you’ve mastered criticizing someone politely. We do say y’all – best word ever, by the way, it’s concise and makes sense.

Maybe some of us are a bit closed minded and backwards. More than some of us are pretty religious…some are both backward and religious, which is a scary combination, surely. But spirituality is typically a positive thing that has merit in community and psychology, when it’s not abrasive and harmful to others – when it’s real. Southernisms like, “Bless your heart” and “Dadgommit” are inexplicable to those who don’t know the language. Ok, so maybe there’s no good reason for these, but they are fun.

So what is it like to be from the South, from this cultural phenomenon where food is comfortingly fattening and people are unbelievably polite, even when they are offending you? When you realize there is more to life than your immediate surroundings, it gives you a unique perspective to add to a developing world view. It gives you strength to stand up for what you believe in, because you’ve had to do it your whole life – especially if you’ve always kind of had a different idea of life. It builds character, because you always had to be a bit stronger to say no to the fried food and bounce back from all the kind-of-insults.

So, like being a woman, being from the South is something I am very glad that I am.