Thursday, July 28, 2011

Minor Characters

Back to my play…

My parents are likely to be featured as characters. They are characters, for sure. If the following conversation appears in a theater near you, know that it is factual. It happened last week.

(Two just-just-over-middle-aged people sit in their living room talking with their grown and college educated daughter. “Dad” speaks in a strong Southern dialect. “Mom” will be given a Midwestern accent, as this seems more wholesome.)

Dad: I wonder if Amber’s ever heard of Ted Bundy. Amber, have you ever heard of Ted Bundy?

Me: Of course I’ve...

(Voiceover: My parents seem to think that major events in history that happened in their lifetime are somehow only known through their own experience…)

Mom: (interrupting) Did they ever figure out if he was a psychopath?

Me and Dad: What?

Mom: You know, they say he was a normal kid.

Dad: What? The only reason he got caught was because he got sloppy with one girl.

Mom: (talking over Dad) I mean, there were some dead animals now and then, but overall, they say he was a pretty good kid.

(Voiceover: My parents also watch too many crime dramas.)

Dad: No, he was cra..Phyllis, he killed all those women. You know, he was a serial killer, Amber, he killed all those women.

Mom: No, I know he was crazy, but did they figure out what caused it. Didn’t someone do an interview with him? Or write something about…

Me: Of course someone wro…

Dad: (interrupting, voice a little raised) I don’t know, Phyllis, but they caught him because…

Mom: (interrupting) I think James Dobson interviewed him. I think he requested to be interviewed by him.

Me: Well, I’m sure that plenty of people have done res…

Dad: (interrupting) Phyllis, he was a sociopath, he raped and killed all those women.

Mom: (voice sounding a little agitated) Well, I know that, Mike. I’m just saying that there was some interview…

Dad: Phyllis…

(At this point the conversation is repetitive and in a play would segue into another, but this is just a unique sample of why the people in my life will lead to a great story.)

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